Jan 24th, 2024 marks the one-year anniversary since officiating my brother’s funeral service. I think about him often. Todd was a fun-loving guy, and he had an incredible mechanical aptitude. In his mind, he could visualize the mechanical function of just about anything. This gift allowed him to be quite successful in his machining career. Additionally, at his best, he was a great son, brother, and dad.
This does not mean in any way that Todd was without his faults. From his teen years, he enjoyed drinking. It was fun for him. Through the years though, “fun” Todd became frustrated, emotional, and not so much fun to be around. That which he chose, had now chosen him. What he once controlled now commanded a costly influence in his life. There were many casualties in the wake of his choices. Many. Several failed marriages. Heartbroken children, parents, and siblings. Job losses. Health issues. All the rest.
None of this should remotely be a surprise to any follower of Jesus.
31Do not look on the wine when it is red, When it sparkles in the cup, When it goes down smoothly; 32At the last it bites like a serpent And stings like a viper.
Proverbs 23:31–32 (NASB95)
Admittedly, this post is a bit different from others I have written. Part of that is because I am mindful of the day. Another part relates to the urgency of action for others who might be slipping ever so subtly toward a similar precipice at the edge of losing everything.
I am a little weird. I stopped drinking back in the 90s. Faith had taken a more proper and significant role in my life. I came to recognize my influence on others. But I also looked at the days of my early adulthood and recognized that the Chris who once drank, did things that were not good, honorable, or healthy. They carried an emotional price that others had to pay with me.
I continue to abstain from alcohol today. Not because I believe the Scripture universally condemns consuming alcohol. Drunkenness is condemned. Abstention is commended as wise. But it is a stretch to say that any consumption of beverage alcohol is sinful. Frankly, too much attention is often given to this subject by those who want to press the case for total abstinence or Christian liberty. I make my case a bit differently.
Two primary motivations influence my position and both feed into a posture of worship.
First, there is a cost. I can look at my own foolishness of youth. I can look at the deaths and destructive patterns in my family that are directly attributed to alcohol consumption. The cost is too high and even if the Scriptures do not condemn the consumption of alcohol, wisdom beckons us to avoid it at any cost.
Second, I abstain because I want to be as missionally effective for the King as possible. Most people associate alcohol with conduct other than that of a disciple of Jesus. Many of the world’s religions reject drinking by those of their faith. The Bible universally commends the pursuit of wisdom and universally treats avoiding alcohol as wise conduct. For example, It is the only position commended for King Lemuel in Proverbs 31. What I know is, that my ordering a Coke Zero, sparkling water, or sweet tea at a party has never cost me an opportunity to share the gospel. A beer in my hand just might. Do I care that others who are disciples of Jesus see this differently? Of course I do, but it is not a test of fellowship for me.
What I am painfully aware of today is the weighty burden that alcohol placed on the shoulders of my nieces and others in my family. Alcohol was voluntarily chosen until suddenly, and against his will, my brother was taken captive by it. I watched him battle the addiction for many years. Today, I take some comfort in knowing that my brother no longer wrestles against this demonic influence that razed the harvest fields of his life.
For those who see alcohol as a social grace, a prop for peace, or help of some other sort…know that I once did also, and so did my brother. I stepped away before it was too late for me. It caught him. And the only sure defense for you is to turn back now. You’ll not regret it. Yes, some will think you’re weird. I will join the counsel of Scripture in thinking you’re wise.
News flash: I was not known for my athleticism in my younger years. That said, my dad lettered in everything so he also enrolled me in sports. I played little league baseball (for the Royals by the way) …perhaps because they were required to play every player at least for an inning each game…even the guy they put in right field.
I remember a single phrase from my time playing coach’s pitch baseball: Keep your eye on the ball. This admonition, repeated often by the coach, was a reminder to ignore the catcher trying to distract me, the chants from the opposing team dugout, and the well-meaning tips from “almost” major league ball playing dads in the stands.
What my coach knew was that the key to a base hit was staying intently focused on the ball and simply swinging the bat to meet it. That’s it! Super simple and incredibly difficult at the same time. That piece of coaching advice was true not only of baseball but in other areas of life, including the life of the church. Every church (and every individual believer consequently) is subject to distractions and drifts toward complexity in life. Our calendars fill up and our activity schedules grow. Every good idea has a champion and every champion wants their idea to succeed. However, every leader knows that when a church becomes too complex, it sometimes loses sight of “the ball.”
Jesus identified “the ball” when He directed His disciples to “make disciples.” (Matthew 28:18-20). While many churches are good at many things, we still must ask, “Is their eye on the ball?” At Englewood (the church I serve), we say that our mission (the ball) is to “glorify God, by leading all people into a growing, reproducing relationship with Jesus Christ.” To do that, each one of us must embrace the Lord’s commission as if we alone are responsible for carrying it out. It is good when our team gets a “base hit,” but our responsibility when we step to the plate is to keep OUR EYE on THE BALL and swing the bat to meet it.
I believe that many adoring Christians with proper motives
seek to please Jesus with so many things; however, sometimes we do them to the
exclusion of the main thing…we fail to keep our eye on the ball.
As you walk your neighborhood, shop at the market, converse
with neighbors, go on vacation, carry out your duties at work and peruse social
media—let me ask you to keep your eye on the ball. How are you making
disciples?
I recently saw the movie Unplanned, a testimonial of Abby Johnson about the evils of abortion and her time with Planned Parenthood. While I found the movie disturbing in so many ways and difficult to watch in several scenes, I think it is helpful on a number of levels. I have spent many days now trying to sort and organize my thoughts on the movie. It struck deeply in a number of areas and awakened many thoughts in my heart. Of course, I could write for days on all of the lessons, but I have been impressed for several days to zero in on one thought: I am the abortionist.
It is easy in the Christian sub-culture to form and us/them
mindset. Those people…out there…in the culture…they need saving! While that’s
not untrue…it is incomplete. We can, at times, forget that THEY are US. Stick
with me for a few short statements…then let me draw a conclusion or two.
The abortionist is no more lost or evil than any other unforgiven sinner.
We were all, at one time, unforgiven sinners.
Some, in fact many of our neighbors, friends, family members, and people in our community are still unforgiven sinners.
Abby Johnson is a great picture of God’s grace.
The actions of the Christians portrayed “at the fence” should be instructive for each of us.
I think, as believers, we can lose touch with who we were
before Christ saved us. We can forget that we could not save ourselves. We did
not clean ourselves up and present ourselves to God. He picked us up and
covered our sin. We added nothing to God’s salvation work. We simply responded
to His invitation and took His hand.
The fact that we can create an us/them dichotomy in our
minds is evidence of those parts of our nature that still require God’s
sanctifying touch. After all, we were all THEM to Christ.
It is high time that we learn to “love at the fence.” We must,
if we are to be faithful to God in worshipful obedience, stop looking at people
as “them” and invite them to walk with us toward Him. We are no better than the
most accomplished of all blasphemers…or the one who takes innocent lives. The
only thing that separates US from THEM is the shed blood of God’s perfect Son
who came…that THEY could become WE.
I am the abortionist…saved by God’s substitutionary sacrifice and called to live under His grace…as a bond-servant on mission. Completely free…yet indebted to my neighbors who are in active rebellion against a magnificent and glorious God!
If God can save Abby Johnson…if God can save me…then I must love at the fence, build bridges in humility before God and my neighbors and lead my neighbors to a “fountain filled with blood, drawn from Immanuel’s veins.” Because, “sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.”
(P.S. If you have not seen this movie or want to view a trailer on it, there is one at THIS LINK.)
“… ‘Go out at once into the streets and the lanes of the city and bring in here the poor and crippled and blind and lame’… ‘Go out into the highways and along the hedges, and compel them to come in, so that my house may be filled.’’ Luke 14:21-23.
The King has spoken. He has issued a command and His servants obey. In my estimation, this parable is one of the most interesting in the gospels.
First, it is a parable…meaning it is an earthly
story that illustrates a heavenly reality. The setting is a celebration
banquet, a huge fellowship event where the grace of the Master is freely given
and on full display.
Second, many of those on the “most likely” list
were too busy, too distracted, and too self-consumed to accept the invitation.
Third, the King never changed His plan, only expanded
His guest list. He still chose to show His grace but He focused on those who
most would overlook…the poor, the crippled, the blind, the lame, and the
outsider. Yes, those who were far from God became the focus of His attention.
Fourth, the King directed His servants… ‘go get
them’…all of the needy who would appreciate His gracious invitation. The
servant did over and over…calling and compelling, inviting and encouraging
all who would come to join the banquet of celebration.
Fifth and finally, the King was not satisfied until
all of the seats at the banquet were filled.
We are the servants…men and women who are under authority and entrusted with the message, to call and compel…telling them, “The King desires for them to join the banquet!”
The King’s heart is what prompts us as a church to embrace the vision…to see that 96,000 of our unchurched neighbors would hear the invitation from the King… “come and take your seat at the banquet.” We go, not according to our own initiative, but under instruction. We do not provide the banquet from our resources but proclaim His plentiful resources. We do not glory in our own generosity but as eyewitnesses of His!
Who have you told about this incredible invitation? It is my heart and my hope that every person who calls Englewood home would have the privilege to go into the streets and lanes of our city, into the highways and along the hedges of our counties…to call and compel others to come, so that they may experience the glorious grace of the King personally! I believe this is your heart as well. So, GO…and share with us the stories that we may rejoice together at the grace of our Lord.
Sitting in front of his home, he dropped the truth-bomb in the form of a question: “How much golf are you playing these days?” My response, which fit perfectly the nuances of the culture, was simple…” Doc, I’ve got so much going on, I can’t find time to even get to the range.” His response has stuck with me now for more than sixteen years: “Chris, golf is kind of like your quiet time with the Lord…you always have time for what you love.”
Now I am not making a play for more time in the fairways. (Honestly, anyone who has ever played with me knows I have very little experience in the fairways. My game is “Army golf”…. Left, Left, Left, Right, Left). The truth really resonates though…you always have time for what you love most…what is most important.
I remember some time back…a person came to me for spiritual advice. Actually, the previous week’s Sunday message really spoke to the situation, so I asked if the person had been there to hear it. “No, I was doing ____.” By the way, it was a good thing that this person was doing! It seems though that the activity was not the best thing. Honestly, though, that’s the real choice for most of us. It isn’t that we are choosing between helping a little ole lady across the street or robbing a bank. In that case, the choice is clear. More often in life, our choices are between good and best in any given matter.
Let me propose 3 considerations, which are not exhaustive by any measure, that should guide the decision…if we want to experience God’s best in our lives.
First, has God already spoken to the decision? As a pastor, I am admittedly more in-tune with (and biased toward) church attendance than a lot of Christians. Often times I will hear, “My schedule is so busy that the only time to do ____ is on Sunday, so we chose to do _____. Is this a faith issue? Has God already spoken directly to the matter? (See Hebrews 10:23-25 as one example). How do the “one another” passages of Scripture get fulfilled if we are not with one another?
Second, how does this decision directly affect others? Now I know that our default thinking on matters of faith is how does our decision affect us? If I skip church today, will I be less tired, happier, less encouraged, etc? What if, though, we considered our actions from its impact on others. Does my absence help the body? Does my absence free up a needed seat for someone else? Does my absence become a distraction or perhaps keep me out of place, so that I cannot help someone else with a struggle in their lives?
Third, what message does my action communicate to others? When our boys were growing up in the home, we had busy lives like everyone else…but we worked to make sure we were in our place in our assembled church every Sunday. (By the way, this conviction preceded my work in vocational ministry). As such, both of my sons have left the home and for years have faithfully attended and served in their local church bodies. Is that because we took them to church? Not completely, but I think it helped solidify priorities in their minds. Besides, Proverbs 22:6 implies that if we want our children to follow in our/ the Lord’s ways, we must train them up in the way we should go.
I talk with dads often who want to be the spiritual leader in their home. I believe they genuinely want to be the best at it. What I also believe to be true is they ARE the spiritual leader in their home…the only question is where are they leading? If we regularly choose the lake house, or travel ball, or sporting events, or working Sundays, or relaxing by the pool…we lead those who look up to us to believe that there more important things to do than to be connected to the body of Christ. I don’t think that is the intended message…and I am not certain that it is immediately evident that the values are transferred from generation to generation. Eventually, though, it happens. Your son drops church from weekly to monthly to a few times per year at best. He chooses work ahead of other things that you wish he gave higher priority. He passes these new values on to your grandchildren (his children) and you wrestle with why his faith is so shallow. Could it be, as my friend Allan Taylor said to me recently, “Your leadership is perfectly designed to give you the results you’re getting.”
I could go on, but I wonder if the Lord might already have signaled your heart about a change you should consider. If so, know this: God allows (and even encourages) U-turns.
How do you know the “right decision” to make in life?
Some would say, “Just follow your heart…”
Trust the “inner voice.”
Listen to your heart.
The heart wants what the heart wants.
All of these sayings could find themselves on the cover of a Hallmark card or in the affirming comments of a Facebook thread…but does that make them accurate?
Can we really trust our “heart?”
Scripture reminds us that, “He who trusts his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered.” Proverbs 28:26.
This proverb really captures the essence of the tension we face daily in the discernment and decision-making phases of our lives.
First…there is the affirmation of CHOICE that is given to each one. “He who trusts…he who walks…” Here there are two truths: What a man does (his walk) testifies to what a man thinks in his heart (his trust). It is foolish and inconsistent to look at a man’s evil activities and then comment, “but he has a good heart.” That is patently untrue, unbiblical, and unhelpful.
Jesus said, “Out of a man’s mouth comes the meditations of the heart” (Matthew 15:18-19). Anger spews from an angry heart. Attacks, slanders, lies…they all overflow from the percolation of the evil within a man’s heart. Kindness, humility, and meekness rise up from a heart rooted in and committed to Christ.
It is critical to accept this truth because without it we are left with self-help practices of learning to “count to 10” before we speak or some other form of behavior modification. Until we identify the source of the problem we will only treat the symptoms. The prophet Jeremiah helps us to identify the source when he states, “The heart of man is desperately wicked…who can even know his own heart?”(Jeremiah 17:9).
Second, there is the identification of the source of our authority in life. Do we trust in our feelings, logic, leanings, or polling to determine what is right? Aren’t the outcomes of such ideas the billboards of foolishness…the enacting of laws that allow the taking of a living child before birth, but the preservation of a murderers’ life while on death row? In the case of abortion, are we (as a society) not elevating one life over another (the mother over the child) and in the case of death row…the inmate’s life over the offense to the image of God and the necessity for justice?
We choose which authority to rely on: our hearts…or Holy Scripture. Because of our wicked hearts, it is difficult to submit to Scripture, but only God’s Word (the objective standard for truth) can deliver us from the consequences of evil.
Third, there is the reality of consequences. No one draws salt water from a spring, or fresh water from an ocean. You cannot follow the heart and expect protection from the consequences of unwise living. Following your heart leads to a fool’s reward…with one exception: a heart that is intentionally turned to and dependent on the Lord will find its delight (Psalm 37:4-5). To follow one’s heart apart from God’s Word is to live foolishly (as if there is no God but self). However, to bow before the Lord, to submit to the truth of His Word will always deliver.
I suspect we all “monkey around” with the truthful declarations of the Lord in hopes that we can find a way to pursue wickedness with a clear conscience. Such desire is foolish. Choose a wise walk. Follow Jesus, not your heart.
Sitting in front of his home, he dropped the truth-bomb in the form of a question: “How much golf are you playing these days?” My response, which fit perfectly the nuances of the culture, was simple…” Doc, I’ve got so much going on, I can’t find time to even get to the range.” His response has stuck with me now for more than sixteen years: “Chris, golf is kind of like your quiet time with the Lord…you always have time for what you love.”
How do you know the “right decision” to make in life?
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