I. Miss. You. That truly is the sentiment of my heart. Someone once said that “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” In many respects that is true. In these days of intentional distancing for a gazillion good reasons, my heart has grown weary in longing for face-to-face community. HOW ABOUT YOU?
While we are so very grateful for the Lord’s grace through technology, how He has provided a way for the church scattered to be gathered through online worship experiences, Zoom groups, and social media, we also know that there is something special about gathering together physically. While the Old Testament rehearses allowances for worship, prayer, even instructions about giving offerings for those scattered and unable to join together, these instructions were an accommodation rather than ideal. Both Old and New Testament…the biblical ideal was for the church to physically worship together.
Does any of this inform us in the midst of COVID-19? I would argue that it does. The people of God are meant to gather. All over the world, believers go to great lengths to gather even in the face of governmental persecution. Others travel hours by foot, bicycle, automobile, rickshaw, bus, train, or trolley to gather in Christian community. The gathered church is instrumental in evangelizing those separated from God through proclamation as well as equipping, encouraging, and even exhorting one another to good works like proclaiming and applying the gospel to the lives of those around us.
With innumerable reasons to gather…and a deep desire to gather…are there reasons to remain scattered physically and gathered online? Yes…both good and bad.
A bad reason to remain scattered is fear. 2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us that God is not the One who gives us a spirit of fear; rather, He provides us with power, love, and discipline (a word speaking of self-discipline based on wisdom and understanding).
Another bad reason to remain scattered is governmental mandate. Even as I write this article, California state government has inserted itself into worship practices by outlawing corporate singing to God or gathering in groups the state deems too large. While the government cites health concerns, this rationale can become a very convenient vehicle for stifling the practices of our faith. These same governments even go as far as to point to virtual gathering as an acceptable faith alternative. Of course, determining what is “acceptable” worship is a bit above their paygrade. While we as believers are called to obey lawful authorities, we are never called to obey unlawful directives in opposition to God.
A good reason to remain scattered is meekness. Remember that Jesus identified “meekness” as a beatitude. Meekness is power under control. While we have power (the right and the ability to act) we choose to restrain the exercise of that power. If choosing to remain at home is an advantage to others, choosing to defer to the interests of others…meekness…is a good reason.
Another good reason is love. Love for one another and love of neighbor. If I have the flu, it would be an act of love not to place myself in a crowd of people. Doing so could cause them to be infected as well. Consequently, this is why I wear a mask. I want to mitigate my activity of moving about the community by wearing a mask (in case I have something and do not know it) and because doing so demonstrates my care and concern (insert love) toward my neighbors.
Another good reason is wisdom or self-discipline. That was the last of the graces that Paul listed in the verse above. For some who are immune-compromised or at higher risk, it would be crazy to expose themselves to risk unnecessarily. I say unnecessarily because if God directs them otherwise, then it would be crazier NOT to obey His leading. We can rely on information and judgment and self-discipline in being good stewards of our health.
In the days ahead, we as a church family will be making plans to reconnect in small groups, bible studies and other appropriate activities. We will choose to be meek, loving, and wise in how we do it, but we must seek a sustainable and edifying rhythm of worship, community, and mission. We NEED to be together. That’s not an idea of man, or men in church leadership…it is a design from God.
A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a citadel. Proverbs 18:19 (NASB)
John had enough! “I am sick and tired of these people telling me how to think and what to do,” he said. Then it happened. He wrote a lengthy but scathing post on his Facebook page ripping apart the very foundations of his “friend’s” argument. Now he did not name any names…but it was clear what he was talking about. When the post came across his friend’s newsfeed…he was hurt. Deeply. Hurt.
“It was true,” John declared. “Every word.” He continued, “if people are so sensitive that they can’t handle a little truth, then they should just get off of Facebook or stop following me.” Mary (John’s wife) pressed him to call and apologize. John did and his friend said it was ok…but their relationship was a little icy from that point forward. It was just not the same. What’s worse, John’s friend hit a rough patch in his marriage a few months later and because his connection with John had been damaged, John didn’t find out until the papers were filed.
While the story is fictitious, it really does represent a “mash up” of similar tales that are all too real. I am afraid that in our “speak truth” culture, we do damage to relational bridges far more often than we realize.
“I’m not wearing a mask! They don’t help anything and it is all a conspiracy anyway.”
“People who won’t wear a mask are ignorant and haven’t seen the research. It’s a small thing to ask, if you really care about people around you!”
Suddenly, good friends can find themselves no longer “good friends” or “friends at all” over some snappy retort or emotionally charged allegation. And to what end?
Jesus created all of us for relationships. We are to love “one another” in the body. That’s a command. We are to engage our culture and seek to bring everyone we meet into a “growing, reproducing relationship with Jesus Christ.” Yet, we set fire to relational bridges with the kindling of opinions and fuel of hubris. That is often not our intention. We don’t want to offend a brother or damage our gospel bridge…but we often do. Proverbs reminds us over and over of the danger of unchecked words. Here in today’s proverb, we find another truth…that once the relationship is damaged, it is harder to be recovered than breaking into the gates around Fort Knox.
These days of social distancing have been equal parts of testing and encouragement for me. I love seeing how the body of Christ rises up to serve their neighbors. I love seeing pictures of families playing games together, doing schoolwork together, and studying the bible together. I love seeing families freed from the stresses of incessant commitments to dance, sports, events, and travel. I love seeing parents breathe.
How about you? Do you long for the days of jamming your schedule full of extracurricular activities again? Don’t get me wrong! I love sports and love watching parents cheer on their gymnasts, future ballerinas, and the like. I think all of these things are good; I just think that living with some intentional margin could be beneficial for us all as well.
In these days, many of us have been given a gift. We have the opportunity to restart. We can begin again. There is no need to rush right out and rebuild everything as it was before. What if we, instead, planted some intentional markers in our lives…boundary stones if you will, that became immovable points that we built our lives around?
For instance:
If family dinner has been amazing and fruitful, why not make family dinner 2, 3 or 5 times per week a fixed boundary stone?
If daily exercise, or morning quiet time has been fruitful, why not make it a fixed boundary stone?
If working together on memory verses or a family bible study has been fruitful, why not make it a boundary stone?
If shutting off email and rolling all phone calls to voicemail after 6 pm has been fruitful, why not make it a boundary stone?
You may ask, “What good is a boundary stone?”
Long after the COVID-19 pandemic is over, there will be opportunities to join a new bowling league. If it interferes with family dinners, then your decision has already been made—it violates a boundary stone, so it is not a good fit for you. If you are offered a promotion that requires you to work deep into the night returning calls and emails, then the decision is already made because you erected a boundary stone.
If you are like me, you did not plan to be as busy as you were. You always intended more family time. You always wanted to prioritize your faith walk, your rest, and your physical health. You simply added a few little things periodically until there was no longer margin.
My personal goal and pastoral prayer is that we learn from our past and lean on this corrective season. How about you? How will you change your lifestyle moving forward after the pandemic has cleared and life begins to accelerate? I pray that your boundary stones will serve you well.
Some years ago, I found myself working without the structure of an institutional environment. As a work-from-home salesperson, I had almost autonomous control over my schedule. As long as I made my required meetings and hit my assigned production levels, I was “pretty much” my own boss.
Recently, much of America has come to experience this reality for themselves. Many find themselves struggling with pretty common issues that this newfound autonomy brings. There are, though, a few tips…what I would call habits that I found to be helpful. The list is certainly not comprehensive and may not work for everyone; however, some form of these disciplines is essential to flourish in this season.
Habits:
Become your own boss. Most of us do not function well without accountability. We need some structure in our lives to function well. In essence, you have to put yourself in your boss’ (teacher/professor/employer’s) position and set out some measurables (boundaries) if you are to thrive. Examples include: What time do you begin each day? How long will you work? What must you accomplish that day?
Set your Alarm. Just because you don’t have to drive to the office is no reason to slumber on. Get up. Make the most of the time no longer spent commuting. Invest it in something meaningful.
Make your bed. Admiral McRaven gives a phenomenal talk on this subject. I’ve heard the talk many times and read the book by the same title. Listen/watch HERE.
Get dressed. Yep, it is novel to work in your PJs for a week or so but psychologically, something changes when we put on work clothes. Maybe not a coat and tie, but put the PJs away. Shave. Brush your teeth. Fix your hair.
Work a schedule. Some employers monitor this with software. They look to see if you’re logged in and if you are active at your remote workstation. Don’t wait on an employer or teacher to check. Implement your own schedule. Start at 8. Work 2 hours. Grab coffee. Work til lunch. Take a real lunch break. Work til afternoon break. Drink more coffee. Work til 5. Rinse and repeat. Your schedule may vary a little but use a calendar as a tool and schedule the time as if your employer were watching over your shoulder.
Stop working. This boundary is essential. If you answer mail and requests all through the night, you will feel as if you never stop working…even if you are only marginally effective during these times. Set a boundary on your clock.
Turn off the Alerts. Speaking of boundaries, give your full attention to the task ahead of you. That may mean closing your email app, shutting down notifications on social media or even putting your device on silent or night-mode. Every interruption reduces productivity.
If you’re distracted, take a break. Sometimes it doesn’t work. You’re as invested as you can be but your mind is wandering. Stop. Go for a 30-minute walk. Then go back to work.
Exercise. In a work from home environment, it is tempting to never leave home. To never leave your desk. Don’t fall for that trick. Schedule exercise every day. Walk. Ride a bike. Pick up heavy stuff. Do something that gets your heart rate up. Believe it or not, this will sharpen your focus at the office (even if that is in the corner of the dining room table).
Eat away from your desk. Sure, you could catch up on the news, multitask your email or catch up on Facebook while eating. When you do, you will cheat your mind out of needed rest. Honestly, you are not improving productivity; You are hurting it. Let your desk be the place where you work and the dining table be the place of food, fellowship, and relaxation.
Adopt efficient tools. I know many people hate lists and calendars. Use them anyway. These tools help you see what you have accomplished during the day. They keep you on task. Here’s a hack that will help you. Put your daily schedule on your calendar as appointments. When an interruption occurs, you can tell the person who texted you that you were in an appointment. Just because you can do it at your desk via Zoom, or it is an appointment for reading or praying doesn’t make it less of an appointment. By the way…it is your tool. If something you deem as priority arises, simply change your calendar. You own it.
Use the last 15 minutes (or 30 minutes if you need it) of your day to plan the next day. A mentor once taught me this in respect to writing. He said to always end a day’s writing by beginning the next paragraph, section, or chapter. It is far easier to regain momentum the next morning if you have a starting point. He called this starting on a downhill slope. Everyone who ever rode a bicycle can relate to this.
Major on effectiveness, not efficiency. It may be inefficient to interrupt your day to go for a lunchtime run, but if it makes you more effective then I might argue that the effectiveness actually makes you more efficient. Two observations on this: I study better in the mornings. As a pastor, I find that my mind is sharper in the morning so when I am preparing for sermons, I like to do so before lunch. I try to schedule accordingly. Second, I find that a 20-minute nap (or resting my brain) in the afternoon improves my productivity. Don’t steal time from your employer or your teacher for this. Invest the last 15-20 minutes of your lunch break for it.
Build next week’s calendar on Friday. Take the needed time on Friday before you quit work to put the major milestones on the next week’s schedule. Put in the appointments for exercise, reading/studying/praying/meditating. Mark off time for correspondence (written and phone) and any teleconference meetings. Treat these like hard appointments so when new requests come in on Monday, you have already plugged in the big milestones as priorities.
These habits will need to be personalized a bit for you, of course. That’s ok. All of them have been inspired by others in my life through the years. What I have learned though, is that when I honor these habits, I am actually more effective and more efficient. I find that my anxiousness is reduced, and I am not crunched as badly on deadlines. Plus…I feel like I get to “shut it off” without guilt when I want to close the laptop and put my phone on silent.
If you have some favorites…pass them along in the comments below. I love learning what works for others.
Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into
His hands…got up from supper, and laid aside His garments; and taking a towel,
He girded Himself. Then He poured water into the basin, and began to wash the
disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel with which he was girded…You
call Me Teacher and Lord; and you are right, for so I am. If I then, the Lord
and Teacher washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet
(John 13:3-5; 13-14, NASB).
Rarely do people dispute the command of Christ to “make disciples.” (Matthew 28:19) However, many believers that I know struggle to do it. Some would argue (perhaps correctly argue) that the issue is time. “We are too busy.” Others might offer an excuse that they are unqualified. Still, others may resist the command simply because they do not know how to get started. For far too many years, I grew up in a church system that had a program for everything. You took this bible study. You enrolled in this course. You participated in this outreach initiative. Check. Check. Check. All of these good things were intended to provide a pathway to obeying the command to make disciples. The programs were not bad; however, they often became a substitute for obedience.
The passage above is a great example of a solution…and I might go as far as to say that it is the example of the solution. Arise. Grab a towel and basin. Wash feet. Repeat.
There is no substitute for action. Every successful teaching
model involves a moment in time when learners must act with what they have
learned. The local church, by God’s design, is the laboratory where that takes
place (Eph 4:11-13).
A lifetime ago, Jodi and I began teaching 4th grade Sunday School. She heard of a need and decided to exchange one more discipleship class for a chance to teach children. I went along to be with her. I sat quietly for 2.8 seconds. In the year that followed, I learned more about the Scriptures, more about the love of God, and more about discipling others than I had in the previous three years. I learned by doing. God showed me my need. He taught me to depend on Him. He used me to help others grow. The next year, I taught adults and we have been involved in some aspect of teaching ever since.
Growing as a disciple necessarily requires growing disciples. There is no substitute. I know of no exceptions. NONE. People that God uses to change the world have this in common: At some point, they stand up, grab a towel and basin and begin to serve others. Through that service, God teaches them, expands their influence, shapes their knowledge and changes lives.
Who are you serving?
How are you serving through your church?
Is your faith vibrant…or would you say it is a bit stale?
If you knew you would not fail, what would you attempt for God today?
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