What a cool opportunity that Jodi and I had this weekend. She has shared life with a close group of friends since her school days and we have all shared in one another’s lives…to one degree or another. This weekend, one of her friends was married and two households became one.
The ceremony was quite intimate. In fact, it was pretty much family and a few select friends. As the couple stood facing one another, the officiating pastor shared a single truth…love is the key to a successful marriage. I began to consider that nugget of advice and think about how true it was. After all, Jodi and I have been together since high school and thirty-one of those years have been in marriage.
Let me say that I agree with the advice but add a qualifier: Love IS the key…but love is a verb, not a noun. I think sometimes people treat love like a noun. I showed you my love. I fell in love. Our love disappeared. We used to be in love. You get the idea…
In reality, love (as given as an ingredient for a successful marriage) is a verb. It is an action, not an object. “Husbands LOVE your wife like Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25, 28, 33).” Love is not something you find or something you possess…it is something you do. Love is challenging…because not everyone is always loveable. Marriage is not easy, but it is rewarding when two people work at it. Marriage is about changing. God uses the attributes of your spouse to change you…to shape you…to grow you…and to perfect you. You spouse is part of the “all things” that God works together for good (Romans 8:28).
Here is good news. You may be thinking… “I have missed it. My chance at love has gone away.” Not so! It is as close as your next decision to love (verb) one another. You control whether you will love and so does your mate.
So, if you are looking to step into the arena of marriage and you hope for great happiness in it …don’t look to fall into love; rather, choose to love. Love fiercely. Love tenaciously. Fight for love. Pursue your beloved. If you need a good model…look to God who SO LOVED you that He sent His Son to purchase your redemption (John 3:16-17). Look at His adoptive love with which He loved you and made you a son or daughter (1 John 3:1). Love (verb) like that…and success in marriage is nearly guaranteed.
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