by chrisaiken | Jun 12, 2015 | culture, missional, Pastor's Reflections
So today I was assaulted by a young woman’s comments on Facebook regarding this article. I know the young woman and those who decided to agree with her as she agreed with this writer. I don’t know that I have ever been more grieved in my spirit as a man, a Christ-follower, a pastor, or as a dad.
Dear sweet girl…the truth behind “true love waits” is a God truth and did not originate in the domain of the church. The church does not own that truth but it should promote it as God’s truth.
All sex outside of that between a husband and his wife is sinful. It is harmful and it is less than God’s perfect plan or desire. There are many things wrong with the perspective of the writer of this article. Many representations of God and truth that are offered in error. One thing is true though…God desires for a sexual relationship to occur according to its biblical design. It is not guilt-ridden. It is not dirty. It is not a provocateur of shame. There is an origin for these things and he is a slanderer and liar.
You can trust God dear girl. God’s plan is better than your plan, my plan, or anyone else’s plan. If we read and understand God’s Word, we know conclusively that God’s plan for our lives is for our benefit/good, not our harm. He is a good and loving God who often warns us to avoid dangerous conduct because of the harm it causes that we cannot anticipate but God knows perfectly. Trust Him. He is trustworthy.
Finally, for whatever role the church or her parents or others played in evoking the feelings this girl speaks of…I am sorry. I was not there but I am sorry. I wish it were not the case. Furthermore, God can do something good with your experience if you allow Him. You of all people have an opportunity to become an Ambassador of Grace. (Certainly you need to experience that Grace from God first…but you can!) Who better to help others see the difference between a righteousness you work for and try to obtain…and one that is lavished upon you when you enter into a relationship with a God who demonstrably loves you “to the moon and back.” What if, God redeemed this horrible experience of yours and showed you how you could save others from it…not by removing God from the equation but by showing them how God really is.
You lady…I pray God demonstrates His love for you in a way that is experientially real for you.
And for those who wrestle with similar feelings as those this writer spoke of…you can trust God too and He is good to you too. He is and His plan, His perfect plan is the best course for your life. I promise…as someone who has tried my plan without God and God’s plan with me….God’s plan is worthwhile and profitable for you.
Peace.
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by chrisaiken | Jun 12, 2015 | culture, Devotions, Pastor's Reflections
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1, NASB.
Like most of you, I have been inundated with video and commentary about the recent event in McKinney, TX where a police officer (now former police officer) was recorded shouting profanity and yelling at a group of teens that were reported to him to be trespassing and engaged in a fight. There are tons of commentaries on the incident and no shortage of opinions on the justification of the officer’s actions. I have an opinion based on what I have seen, but also realize that I have not seen everything…only what those who are seeking to shape their narrative have offered. So, I will not lead the parade to the lynching of either the officer or the teens. What I will do is offer a reflection on how Scripture informs the conduct of our lives.
When a person is opposed (verbally or otherwise) there is an immediate and sometimes overwhelming urge to lash out and “let them have it!” Acting on that urge provides a release and momentary euphoria. “I showed them!” But…if we were truthful, our unbridled response likely only exasperated the situation and evoked a more strident response from our opposition.
The officer was in a chaotic situation. large crowd dynamics (particularly when they involve children and teens without the wisdom that comes with maturity–chronological, emotional, and experiential) are dicey. Emotions are high and feelings are on everyone’s sleeves. While a need may actually exist to take firm control of a situation, misplaced outbursts of emotion may serve to escalate the situation. For instance, the officer’s loud, profane, and harsh words along with his take charge demeanor pushed the emotional quotient much higher than it needed to be and actually made the situation more volatile. (Now forgive me, since I have the luxury of hindsight that was not afforded to the officer or the teens involved). The same is true for the “mouthy” kids who are poster-child examples of the need to bring back “washing your mouth out with soap.” (The interviews with the kids after the incident present a far more respectful and subdued tone).
The truth is…Scripture speaks truth. If you can master your emotions with the help of God’s grace and respond rather than react to a situation…you stand a better chance of resolving conflict.
Not that I would assign a “faith position” to anyone at the pool that day without a little more inside information, but this I know…everyone there was a broken/sinful creature. Everyone there had a propensity toward self-exaltation and self-preservation. Everyone there needed more Jesus! EVERYONE!
James, the half-brother of Jesus, reminds us well that the tongue is evil and untamable (in its perfect expression). It must be mastered. If it is not, man’s religion is of no real and transcendent value.
So, here it is: Learn to swallow hard when you want to lash out. Breathe. Count to 10 or 10,000. Respond rather than react. This is wisdom and speaks well of our Savior. Any other response misrepresents the heart of our Lord and King.
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by chrisaiken | Jun 8, 2015 | culture, missional, Pastor's Reflections, symbolism
Weddings are full of symbolism! From the selection and role of the bridal party and the groomsmen, to the color of dress and cutting of the cake…everything has a symbolic meaning. Consideration is given to the color and style of the wedding dress, as well as to the wearing of “something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.” During the service, you may have a unity candle, the lighting of the candles, private or corporate communion, the mixture of the sand (a Florida favorite), the seating of the mothers, giving of a rose to the moms at different points of the service, the wearing of the veil (or not), the tossing of the garter and bouquet, not to mention the cutting and sharing of the cake the decorating of the departure vehicle…and the list goes on. Everything has a symbolic meaning.
One of the symbols that is losing prominence in our culture is the conviction of having a “church wedding.” Now I know the church is not the building. I know that where two or three are gathered… I get all of that. At the same time, I also know the significance of choosing the church community whom you worship with to celebrate this most solemn of commitments…the marriage.
Often times the consideration behind the choice of venue is what would make great pictures…or what would be “cool.” The venue may be chosen because the couple are beachgoers and want to look out across the ocean at the potential of their love. Sometimes the choice of venue is about seating capacity or even economics. Should not the message of the primacy of the lordship of Christ and the value of the church community also be a major consideration?
The symbols of a wedding communicate. If a father doesn’t give the bride away…it says something. If the bride chooses a red dress rather than white…it says something. We may or may not DESIRE for these things to communicate a message, but they do. Doesn’t the “place” we choose to solemnize our vows also say something?
I am not certain that Christians have the right to trumpet the TRUTH that marriage is a holy and lifelong covenant between one man and one woman before a holy God…while at the same time failing to elevate the value of the covenant by choosing to have a wedding ceremony at a ballpark or the beach. Now if the couple doesn’t value the church and the Lord…if they are not Christ-followers…I get it! Skip the church! I probably would as well if I were not a Christian! Make great pictures on the beach or on the summit of a mountain or under a gorgeous waterfall in Hawaii. After all…your pictures are your longest lasting residual impact of the day in this case. You’ve no intention of invoking the blessing of God since you have never trusted Him as your Lord. Don’t confuse the symbolic nature of a church wedding!
For believers…if we truly value the institution of marriage as God’s design and we truly value the church community as God’s community…our people in a “foreign land,” why would we not want this most solemn of commitments to be made in the place where we worship our God weekly and among the people we share our life journey with? Remember, everything communicates a message. Make sure this one is the one you wanted to share.
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by chrisaiken | Jun 1, 2015 | Devotions, Pastor's Reflections
“But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment.” Matthew 12:36, NASB.
Yesterday, Jodi and I had the opportunity to hang out with some friends in Destin, FL. It was a great time…both in the alone time commuting as well as seeing and talking with friends. One of the boys there is going into the 3d grade and was stuck like glue (if you will) to an older young man in college. What “college guy” did, the young boy did. What he said was repeated. The young boy studied and modeled everything he observed…good and bad.
That gave me reason to pause and reflect. There was nothing on the agenda for “college guy” to teach. He was not working through a Bible lesson or biblical doctrine or rules to live by. There was no classroom. No formal lecture material, study guides or tests; Yet, there was a lesson being taught and going deeper than any lecture I’ve ever given.
It is the unintentional messages that sink the deepest into our hearts. What we demonstrably value lasts. What we discount is discounted. What’s crazy is…there is no warning label on these unintentional messages. My dad taught me more about financial management (good and bad lessons) as a boy sitting at the dining room table than I ever learned in a financial class. Not more information but more controlling lessons. He taught me to pay the bills, pay them first, keep good records, and never be late. If you cannot afford anything after that, do something else. Get another job. Live on less. Ultimately, when you create a debt, you give your word so honor it. [POWERFUL MESSAGE]. He also did not “tithe” when I was young. He justified it verbally…so I carried his understanding into my adult years. He was wrong. He has since changed but his influence, though informal, was weighty at the time. My children tithe. They do so because that is what Jodi and I model for them. We live generously toward others even when we have minimal resources.
Parents that allow other things to take priority over church on Sunday teach similar lessons. They communicate that there are some things that are more important than church assembly. They allow children to choose to play sports that interfere with church. They choose “family days” at the beach over church. The intent is harmless but the results are long-lasting.
How do we NOT communicate wrong messages informally? Choose to do the right thing. What is it we would want our family to do? If it is a biblical truth, we should always do that. If our kids want to do something else, we should correct them. In my house, we don’t make school optional no matter how early in the day it starts or unfulfilling it seems. We don’t allow kids to break the law. We don’t allow our children to act immorally no matter how much they might want to. We don’t let them come to their own conclusions on matters of faith. One day they will. They will choose based on the values they’ve acquired and most of those through INFORMAL or UNINTENTIONAL messages. We choose then to intentionally communicate what we want them to learn through our “unintentional messages.” IOW…we are very intentional in this.
Does it matter? YES! They learn through our messages and God considers our influence a stewardship. This is why He holds us to account for every “careless word” or unintentional message we teach.
Shalom, CA
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by chrisaiken | May 27, 2015 | culture, missional, Pastor's Reflections
In the wake of Memorial day Weekend in Pensacola, I have been reflecting on the approach of the church to our city’s celebration of the LGBT lifestyle. By no means am I claiming to have the definitive answer on how the church SHOULD respond to these events in our city, but as I have considered it, I think it is worthy of our conversation. It takes courage to address an issue, considering it in light of the Scriptures until we have come to a place of biblical clarity. To facilitate the discussion, let me state a few assumptions.
- Biblically speaking, homosexuality is wrong. It is sin. It is no more sin than other sins and it is no less sin than other sins. It is simply sin.
- The church cannot embrace and/or adopt sin or modify God’s Word as it relates to sin. Whether I like it or don’t like it, lying is a sin, killing is sin, homosexuality is sin, etc.
- The church is accountable to God for how we represent God’s position toward sin and those who sin.
- The church is accountable to the culture at large for how we represent God’s position on sin and those who sin. IOW…we cannot say to the culture something that is untrue about God. If God has spoken on an issue, we become a stumbling block to the culture if we do not act truthfully toward them on behalf of God.
With these assumptions in place, I am concerned about the fine line we walk between loving those who sin and celebrating sin itself. As a guy who thinks (unapologetically) like a missionary and who wants all people to accept Christ Jesus as Lord by faith, I am concerned that if we are not careful as the church, we can step over the line from demonstrating love and acceptance toward those who (like us) commit sin…and start to ignore the sin…or worse…we actually celebrate it as normal.
A couple of examples may illuminate the issue:
- If a gay person comes into the church, it seems appropriate to love him as another person created in the image of God. He should be embraced as a person who is of great value to our King. At the same time, we could not accept him into membership while he still holds an acceptance or affinity with his sin. Until he sees sin the way God sees sin, he cannot come to repentance, thus he cannot be redeemed.
- If the same gay person came in with his partner to fellowship and sing and “pal around” with church members as they sought to act as a couple…the church may blur the lines to allow unrepentant sinners to persist in the assembly unless we challenge the sin and are seeking a receptivity in the heart fo the gay couple.
- Finally, if a church sets out to open a hospitality booth at a LGBT parade (or our current Memorial Day festivities at Pensacola Beach) and distribute water bottles, sunscreen, or other items…is it crossing a line and beginning to celebrate the sin itself? If not, why not? Now I understand how this effort might be evangelistic if there is a message of God’s love conveyed (verbally, in writing, etc). My concern is not so much with that as it is with simply being a “presence” in the midst of these activities…as if to communicate love and ACCEPTANCE of the sin and inadvertently communicating that God is “ok” with the sinner’s choice to sin.
While I don’t have all of the answers, I know that there is a message communicated by the church’s actions…so I am curious where you might think the “line” is in our activity. Love to hear your thoughts.
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So today I was assaulted by a young woman’s comments on Facebook regarding this article. I know the young woman and those who decided to agree with her as she agreed with this writer. I don’t know that I have ever been more grieved in my spirit as a man, a Christ-follower, a pastor, or as a dad.
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