Context Matters

Open Bible 1“He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him.” Proverbs 18:13.

My family and I have been traveling this MLK weekend. We drove out to Fort Hood to visit with my son and his precious wife. In one of our conversations, my son Dillon reminded me of a very important truth…Context matters.

It is easy enough to form a strong opinion about something we see on the news. We hear a perspective and dig in our heels on what we think happened and why. What’s crazy is…sometimes…we find out later that there was information we did not know when we came to our firmly held belief. Once this new information comes to light…we may shift our view.

This is true of politics and economics. It is often true of our observations of decisions that leaders make. It is true relationally. Someone walks by without speaking. We “assume” that the reason is “us.” As a result, we “decide” that we won’t put up with that and sever the relationship. If we had considered the circumstance from the other party’s perspective for a moment, we might have developed a different opinion.

True humility is demonstrated in our willingness to understand all of the fact prior to declaring our understanding. This is wisdom. Humility assumes that we might not have all of the facts about a relationship. Humility assumes that there is another angle to the story. Humility assumes there is a possibility that we are WRONG.

Wise men walk in humility. Wise men leave room to change their minds if new information surfaces. Wise men withhold opinions until they know the context. They seek context before declaring their position realizing that context is key to understanding.

Humbly choose wisdom.

No Losers, Only Victors

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Photo Credit: cbssports.com

Now I will be honest…at first attempt, I struggled with this article. I didn’t struggle as much over the subject as I did the title. The reason is…I am adamantly opposed to a participation trophy culture that rewards every effort as success…even poor effort. I think that the psychology behind handing every kid a trophy for showing up SOFTENS a society and removes the seed of inner drive that propels people toward excellence.

At the same time…as we are less that 12 hours away for the CFP National Championship Game…I wrestle with the idea that one of the teams may be considered “losers” after the game. In my estimation, there can be no “losers” in the National Championship Game. Sure, someone is necessarily going to be crowned the champion because when the 60 minutes of game-clock expire, they will be recognized for having put the most points on the board; however, the other team is not a loser. They won repeatedly throughout the season and simply lost the final contest they appeared in. After all, they are still (I hope) the Crimson Tide of Alabama. They are still the “standard” in College Football to paraphrase Clemson’s head coach at the National Press Club event. 🙂

This is true of football (I believe), but it is also true of any other aspects of life. Marriage, for instance, is not defined by the last 5 minutes. It should be defined by the whole. A “buzzard” of a husband is not absolved of his shenanigans simply because he brought a bouquet of flowers three minutes ago. At the same time, 27 years of successful marriage should not be eclipsed by one failure in the past 5 minutes. The fact is…a man could be a good husband who failed recently and still be a good husband.

It is also true of the Christian faith. When we look at the Apostle Peter, do we focus on his sinking when he walked on water toward Jesus? Do we zero in on his denial of Christ in the courtyard the night before Jesus’ death? Do we define him by the moment he doubted Jesus when told to lower his nets? Not if we are wise! If we are wise, we look at the totality of life and evaluate Peter in light of everything…from beginning to end. We take into account the fact that he left everything to follow Jesus. We consider that while he sank while walking on water…he did get out of the boat and walk on water by faith! We hone in on the reality that the faulty faith of Peter at his denial was measured against the fantastic faith of Peter that preached at Pentecost. We consider that someone else ( Jesus) valued Peter…He called Him…He consecrated Him…He restored Him…He empowered Him. How could we call Peter a loser? We could not…if we understand the Christian life.

Perhaps you have been considering your last great failure. Perhaps you came up a few points short in the game, fumbled the last opportunity to avoid a temptation, or blew it in a relationship. You could listen to the voices that recall only your latest failure…or you could “strap up” and get back in the game for one more series, one more quarter, or one more season. As a Christ-follower, you are not a failure. You are not a loser; even when you miss the mark, you are not a loser. Even when the devil wins a round, you are not a loser.

Victory in Christ is measured by the totality, not the last event of your journey. So, “strap up” and get back in the game. There’s another season, another opportunity, and a lot of clock left in the real contest of life. Make your NEXT Series, your best series!

An “others” focused life…

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In my reading and reflection time this morning, I read through Proverbs 31 for the gazillionth time. It is a powerful chapter with a number of facets but I tend to gravitate to the characteristics of the “excellent wife.” We will call her the P31 woman or “P31” for short.

This noble woman is affirmed here in this chapter by her husband and her children. She is acclaimed by her community. She is appreciated by those in her household (think of employees and those dependent on her). Her reputation affects all those around her…in other words, others are known in relation to her. [i.e. Once Jodi and I had children, we ceased to be “Chris and Jodi”in many circles; rather, we were known and “Dillon’s parents” or “Hayden’s parents.”]

When we “soak” (or meditate) in the chapter here, we see that P31 was not known for her beauty, though she may well have been gorgeous. She was not known for her academic achievement, her position paper on political situations, her wittiness, her number of IG (Instagram) of FB (Facebook) followers, or for her reign as the “homecoming queen” in high school. The source of her praise was her focus on others.

She was a hard worker. She was considered trustworthy by those who knew her best. Her character was strong (31:11). She was an encourager (31:11). She delighted in serving (31:12). She was innovative and industrious in providing for others (31:14). She was tenacious in her service to others (31:15). She was savvy in her business acumen and practiced “delayed gratification” choosing to reinvest her profits in long-term reward (31:16). She was strong physically as a stewardship of her health and her responsibility to serve (picture an athlete that trains to be able to perform on the court or the field) (31:17). She worked from early until late with delight (31:15,18,13). She was compassionate in her actions toward those who were in need (31:19).

The results of this lifestyle were evident to the careful observer. P31 had confidence in hard times because she had already provided well…when times were good (31:21-22). Her examplary life was a point of conversation among the people of her community (31:23). She recognizes the need and provides instruction to others in duplicating her attitude and activity for themselves (31:26).

Her children and her husband bless her. (Hold onto that because many people can earn praise from acquaintances…but praise from those who se you without your game-face on….that’s special stuff).

As we apply this, I am mindful of the ladies I have spoken with through the years who are intimidated by this picture. Some simply “idealize” the picture and act as if no woman has ever measured up. Some have attacked this as being “anti-women” as if it were a subtle attempt to subjugate the fairer sex. I SEE IT as a model for us to progressively and continually turn to, in order to evaluate and correct ourselves. I see it as a model for men and women. It is truly about being people of character, of hard work, and of service…people who are “others” oriented.

Jesus said it this was…”The Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve…” (Matt 20:28).

Perhaps, if we were looking for a worthy “resolution” for 2016…we might resolve to be P31s in our world.

Grace and Peace as we anticipate new beginnings!

Back to “normal”

cropped-2014-10-10-12-46-03.jpgYesterday was a different kind of Christmas for my family. Since 2004, Jodi have lived away from our “families” and served churches in New York and Florida. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day are obviously significant seasons for us in ministry so we generally would depart on Christmas morning and drive all day to get back to South Carolina to celebrate the season with both families in a whirlwind tour of dinners, parties and presents. Now, as our family has gotten a bit older, our sons have “both family” situations of their own, so we decided to stay in Florida to hang out with our sons and daughter (some call her a daughter-in-law…but she’s just my daughter). This change allowed us to relax a little more. It allowed us to enjoy a family meal. We simply allowed ourselves to soak in the beauty of hte experience rather than rushing to the next engagement.

So, this morning, I look around and see a Christmas tree that has no presents beneath. Our normal “home organization” has been upended with decorations and Christmas celebration. So…my first impulse is to start putting things back to normal.

Now here is the thought/reflection that prompts me to sit still for a few minutes and click away at my keyboard:

Should we really want to get “back to normal?” 

Normal was what we did before celebrating the birth of Christ. Normal was what defined the “autopilot” status of our lives. Normal was comfortable…but, then Christmas came.

If you simply read through the Gospels, you quickly realize that NOTHING went back to normal once Jesus came into or through a town. He caused a stir and you could not simply “un-cause” it and get back to normal.

The blind people that he healed could not simply “un-see” again. The sick that he healed could not simply return to their infirm state as if healing had never happened. Certainly there were (and will always be) some who powered through and jumped back into routine as if nothing happened…but weren’t they changed, if even just a little bit? Why go back to normal?

Sure…you (and we) will undecorate the homes in the coming days but decorations do not define normal.  Gifts will be put away and junk food will be eradicated from our homes (I hope…since the longer it is here, the more aware I am that I need to go back to the gym). Yes, we will all have to return to our workplaces soon enough, but even this doesn’t define normal.

  • If time with family affected you during this week, don’t go back to normal. Remember the preciousness of family connections and nurture them.
  • If you caught a glimpse of the majesty of Jesus during the week’s celebration of Him and His birth, don’t go back to normal. Cultivate it.
  • If you experienced the joy of generosity through giving, don’t go back to the normal narrative of striving to acquire more for yourself.

Instead, of going back to normal…press on! Move forward into a new and exciting adventure in zealous pursuit of the King’s purpose for your life. Don’t easily give up the beauty and the glory of that which you gained in these days as your normal was redefined.

“and on earth, peace…”

angels-visit-the-shepherdsAs I reflect this morning, long before the rest of the home is awake, my mind is carried back to the angelic announcement of God’s declared work: “There is now peace among men (Lk 2:14).” A Savior has been born. He made a humble entrace into the world but it was not a quiet entrance. God dispatched an angel to announce the new era…an era of peace.

We are nearly 2,000 years past that incredible night. Many look about and wonder,”Where is the peace?” Don’t miss the condition attached to the peace. See, God did not work for peace. He is not laboring for peace. He declared peace to be among men with whom He is well-pleased. In this we recognize a distinction that the Bible draws specifically for us. There is no peace experienced for those with whom God is not pleased. In fact there was never a promise of it. I am mindful of all those who yesterday and today sang carols about “Joy to the world” or “Peace on Earth,” yet peace is merely an elusive ideal that they strive to create or act as if they have obtained. For them…there is no peace, only the idea of peace. BUT…God declared Peace to be among men with whom He is pleased.

Honestly, God’s peace is something we should seek but not something we must strive for. Our “seeking” is directed toward God’s PLEASURE. His pleasure is in our experiencing His redeeming of our lives by returning to Him as our God and King. Apart from Him, there is no peace and there can be no peace as long as we are at enmity with Him.

It seems to me that this Christmas would be a great time for us to seek Peace by returning to the One who declared peace to be among men with whom He is pleased. All of us have a past. We all have regrets. We all have a list of failures and a basket full of “I wish I hadn’t” statements. But just as God declared “peace among men” and changed all the world by introducing a NEW day…we can know a new day as well. Our past can rightly be placed in the past. Our regrets can be lost in the sea to be remembered no longer.

He will again have compassion on us; He will tread our iniquities under foot. Yes, You will cast all their sins into the depths of the sea. Micah 7:19.

Today, receive the free gift of God and experience “peace” that only heaven can bring and DID BRING…in a single instant when God declared “…and on earth, peace among men with whom He is pleased.”

Glory to God in the highest, and Merry Christmas from my family to yours.

God’s Will and God’s Word

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As a “Jesus” guy and a pastor, I love when people seek to honor God. I love when people pray about God’s will in a matter and embrace it. I love when people do not find the answer to their questions regarding His will easily…when they have to “wrestle” with it. (It builds character and confidence in our faith in God).

Sometimes though, because of our sin nature, we wrestle with “settled” matters. People will say to me, “I am praying about whether God wants me to share Jesus with my neighbor, go on a mission trip, or start tithing, etc. Friend…these are clearly declared in Scripture. There is no ambiguity to them. God speaks clearly from the pages of Scripture and the answer is as plain as it sounds. “[YOU] Go, and make disciples of all nations…,  Matthew 28:18-20 (which necessarily includes your neighbor unless he is an alien from a galaxy far, far away).

Sometimes, these prayers for God’s will reveal themselves to be more self-serving than we make them seem. “I am praying pastor about getting a divorce.” [Insert contemplative “Hmmm” here]. “I am praying about having sex with my boyfriend.” “I am praying about whether I should forgive someone who hurt me.”

In these cases, I am not certain that what we are waiting on is God’s “revelation” to us as much as we are seeking to get God to affirm our ungodly heart’s desires. I WANT a divorce SO I am trying to find something that tells me it is ok or at least not a damning choice. I don’t want to forgive, so I am reading all of the imprecatory Psalms to find justification for not forgiving.

A couple of things I have learned in wrestling with God:

  • We do not change God’s mind. God did not reveal His perfect will for us to “improve it” with our imperfect suggestions.
  • We can always find one person to agree with us. Honestly, just because you found another “sin nature person” who once had your bad idea and wrote about how he thought it was ok…won’t help you before the throne of God when you plead your case.
  • God’s will is not always easy. It WARS against our self-deterministic will. We want to please us…and God created us for His pleasure. These two truths are often in CONFLICT.
  • God’s will is better than ours. We see a situation with limited clarity. God sees perfectly. We are pursuing a limited objective. God is working the affairs of an eternal Kingdom. And He is GOOD.
  • When we trust God’s will, He fights for us. An old leadership principle is that if you want to get folks to give their heart toward a goal, make sure it is their goal. (Now I am not suggesting a form of manipulation aimed at God; however, I am saying that if we are on His agenda, He brings the arsenal of heaven to bear on bringing His will to pass).

Where, pastor, do I find God’s will? Simply stated…it is a journey of discovery but it should ALWAYS begin in His Word and be bathed in much prayer and earnest seeking. God’s will is never contrary to God’s Word.