#P5: To escalate or de-escalate…

Pastor's Five, P5 logo“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1, NASB.

Like most of you, I have been inundated with video and commentary about the recent event in McKinney, TX where a police officer (now former police officer) was recorded shouting profanity and yelling at a group of teens that were reported to him to be trespassing and engaged in a fight. There are tons of commentaries on the incident and no shortage of opinions on the justification of the officer’s actions. I have an opinion based on what I have seen, but also realize that I have not seen everything…only what those who are seeking to shape their narrative have offered. So, I will not lead the parade to the lynching of either the officer or the teens. What I will do is offer a reflection on how Scripture informs the conduct of our lives.

When a person is opposed (verbally or otherwise) there is an immediate and sometimes overwhelming urge to lash out and “let them have it!” Acting on that urge provides a release and momentary euphoria. “I showed them!” But…if we were truthful, our unbridled response likely only exasperated the situation and evoked a more strident response from our opposition.

The officer was in a chaotic situation. large crowd dynamics (particularly when they involve children and teens without the wisdom that comes with maturity–chronological, emotional, and experiential) are dicey. Emotions are high and feelings are on everyone’s sleeves. While a need may actually exist to take firm control of a situation, misplaced outbursts of emotion may serve to escalate the situation. For instance, the officer’s loud, profane, and harsh words along with his take charge demeanor pushed the emotional quotient much higher than it needed to be and actually made the situation more volatile. (Now forgive me, since I have the luxury of hindsight that was not afforded to the officer or the teens involved). The same is true for the “mouthy” kids who are poster-child examples of the need to bring back “washing your mouth out with soap.” (The interviews with the kids after the incident present a far more respectful and subdued tone).

The truth is…Scripture speaks truth. If you can master your emotions with the help of God’s grace and respond rather than react to a situation…you stand a better chance of resolving conflict.

Not that I would assign a “faith position” to anyone at the pool that day without a little more inside information, but this I know…everyone there was a broken/sinful creature. Everyone there had a propensity toward self-exaltation and self-preservation. Everyone there needed more Jesus! EVERYONE!

James, the half-brother of Jesus, reminds us well that the tongue is evil and untamable (in its perfect expression). It must be mastered. If it is not, man’s religion is of no real and transcendent value.

So, here it is: Learn to swallow hard when you want to lash out. Breathe. Count to 10 or 10,000. Respond rather than react. This is wisdom and speaks well of our Savior. Any other response misrepresents the heart of our Lord and King.

Pastor’s Perspective…Why weddings are best celebrated within the church community

64-wedding-couple-file-clipartWeddings are full of symbolism! From the selection and role of the bridal party and the groomsmen, to the color of dress and cutting of the cake…everything has a symbolic meaning. Consideration is given to the color and style of the wedding dress, as well as to the wearing of “something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.” During the service, you may have a unity candle, the lighting of the candles, private or corporate communion, the mixture of the sand (a Florida favorite), the seating of the mothers, giving of a rose to the moms at different points of the service, the wearing of the veil (or not), the tossing of the garter and bouquet, not to mention the cutting and sharing of the cake the decorating of the departure vehicle…and the list goes on. Everything has a symbolic meaning.

One of the symbols that is losing prominence in our culture is the conviction of having a “church wedding.” Now I know the church is not the building. I know that where two or three are gathered… I get all of that. At the same time, I also know the significance of choosing the church community whom you worship with to celebrate this most solemn of commitments…the marriage.

Often times the consideration behind the choice of venue is what would make great pictures…or what would be “cool.” The venue may be chosen because the couple are beachgoers and want to look out across the ocean at the potential of their love. Sometimes the choice of venue is about seating capacity or even economics. Should not the message of the primacy of the lordship of Christ and the value of the church community also be a major consideration?

The symbols of a wedding communicate. If a father doesn’t give the bride away…it says something. If the bride chooses a red dress rather than white…it says something. We may or may not DESIRE for these things to communicate a message, but they do. Doesn’t the “place” we choose to solemnize our vows also say something?

I am not certain that Christians have the right to trumpet the TRUTH that marriage is a holy and lifelong covenant between one man and one woman before a holy God…while at the same time failing to elevate the value of the covenant by choosing to have a wedding ceremony at a ballpark or the beach. Now if the couple doesn’t value the church and the Lord…if they are not Christ-followers…I get it! Skip the church! I probably would as well if I were not a Christian! Make great pictures on the beach or on the summit of a mountain or under a gorgeous waterfall in Hawaii. After all…your pictures are your longest lasting residual impact of the day in this case. You’ve no intention of invoking the blessing of God since you have never trusted Him as your Lord. Don’t confuse the symbolic nature of a church wedding!

For believers…if we truly value the institution of marriage as God’s design and we truly value the church community as God’s community…our people in a “foreign land,” why would we not want this most solemn of commitments to be made in the place where we worship our God weekly and among the people we share our life journey with? Remember, everything communicates a message. Make sure this one is the one you wanted to share.

#P5: The Achilles Heel of our lives

Pastor's Five, P5 logo“Now King Solomon loved many foreign women along with the daughter of Pharoah: Moabite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations concerning which the Lord had said to the son of Israel, ‘You shall not associate with them, nor shall they associate with you, for they will surely turn your heart away after their gods.’ Solomon held fast to these in love. He had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines, and his wives turned his heart away.”  1 Kings 11:1-3, NASB.

Everyone has SOME weakness. It might be food, love of money, a need to control, or a Solomon type desire for women/men. Everyone has SOME weakness. We often refer to this as the “Achilles heel,” based on mythology. It is that “thing” that causes you to get off track and it seems to exercise some powerful control over you.

God knows this. This is why God gives us instructions…to train our heart toward Him and to guard our hearts from turning away from Him. So, God instructs us in the right way to honor Him and to honor His name.

But we are weak. By nature, we think we have some insight into ourselves that God doesn’t quite have. After all…He is not us! How can God possibly know more about the inside of our hearts that we do? Yet…He dies. He made our hearts after all. He created us and gave us a purpose even before we made our entrance into the world.

Solomon just liked women. He saw no danger and only benefit in having many wives. In fact, many of these marriages and “pseudo-marriage” relationships were political in nature resulting in land acquisition or treaties between neighboring kingdoms/cities. But still, God said otherwise and Solomon had a thing for women.

Now as king of Israel, he had his pick of the Israelite women but his desires ran toward foreign women. They were exciting…a little dangerous…and OFF-LIMITS! Yet they caught his eye. Perhaps it was because they were something prohibited. Perhaps it was because Solomon liked the attention they showed him. Perhaps, they were just benefits of his business dealings… Whatever the attraction…Solomon desired them enough to ignore the commands of God.

Solomon never expected to lose the kingdom. He did not set out to divide it and to leave his son with a fraction of his possessions and responsibility. We never expect the consequences of sin…but there are consequences. Solomon figured he was bulletproof from temptation and consequences. He was not and neither are we.

What is your “Achilles heel?” Do you know what God said about it? Don’t compromise. Do not associate with it and do not allow it to associate with you. It is dangerous and evil. It will kill you and the consequences will last longer than your life and cause damage for generations to come. Trust God. Walk in His way. Save yourself by allowing God to save you.

Shalom, CA

#P5: Your “Platform” is for God’s Glory

Pastor's Five, P5 logo“Now when the queen of Sheba heard about the fame of Solomon concerning the name of the Lord, she came to test him with difficult questions…Then she said to the king, ‘It was a true report which I heard in my own land about your words and your wisdom. Nevertheless I did not believe the reports, until I came and my eyes have seen it. And behold, the half was not told to me. You exceed in wisdom and prosperity the report which I heard…Blessed be the Lord your God who delighted in you to set you on the throne of Israel’…” 1 Kings 10:1-9, NASB

God declared to Solomon that his wisdom would exceed all those men before him and those who would come after him. He also blessed Solomon with riches and fame and influence that Solomon never asked for so that the Name of the Lord would be great (Ch 3).

Stated differently, God gave Solomon a “platform” in life that would make God famous if used appropriately. The queen of Sheba heard of the wise king of Israel who followed his father on the throne a couple of decades earlier. (Yes, we are 20 years into platform building.) Solomon’s reputation for wisdom had traveled far and wide…so that this unbelieving (non-Christian) woman had to go hear for herself. She was impressed and ultimately blessed the Lord God of Israel for His sovereign provision in and through Solomon.

Solomon’s “platform” gave him the opportunity to make much of God.

The same is true today. Now you may not be a king but do not think that only a king has a platform. It is not exclusive to kings; rather, doctors have platforms, teachers have platforms, carpenters, mechanics, politicians, stay-at-home moms, salesmen, flight attendants and bankers have platforms. Even pastors have platforms! The issue is not what you do but what you do with what God has given you…that is how He is made famous in your life and through your life.

This means that there is a level of accountability and responsibility that is inherent in the way we live our lives every day. We REPRESENT God in everything…whether intentionally or unintentionally. People notice the God we serve in how we live out our platform.

So, if you’re a carpenter…measure accurately, cut straight and build strong. God’s Name is on the line. If you’re a doctor, heal well and show compassion. God’s Name is on the line. If you are a mechanic…fix it to the glory of God! His Name is on the line. Make much of Him…not necessarily by shouting from the rooftops but by being the very best at what you do…to the glory of God everyday…and if there is any doubt as to whom you serve or why you care so much about the quality of your labors…explain that you ultimately do everything you do as a Servant of the Most High God and for His glory. Your employer and customers and coworkers just benefit from your higher allegiance and sense of duty.

Shalom, CA.

#P5: The Unintentional Messages Linger Long

Pastor's Five, P5 logo“But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment.” Matthew 12:36, NASB.

Yesterday, Jodi and I had the opportunity to hang out with some friends in Destin, FL. It was a great time…both in the alone time commuting as well as seeing and talking with friends. One of the boys there is going into the 3d grade and was stuck like glue (if you will) to an older young man in college. What “college guy” did, the young boy did. What he said was repeated. The young boy studied and modeled everything he observed…good and bad.

That gave me reason to pause and reflect. There was nothing on the agenda for “college guy” to teach. He was not working through a Bible lesson or biblical doctrine or rules to live by. There was no classroom. No formal lecture material, study guides or tests; Yet, there was a lesson being taught and going deeper than any lecture I’ve ever given.

It is the unintentional messages that sink the deepest into our hearts. What we demonstrably value lasts. What we discount is discounted. What’s crazy is…there is no warning label on these unintentional messages. My dad taught me more about financial management (good and bad lessons) as a boy sitting at the dining room table than I ever learned in a financial class. Not more information but more controlling lessons. He taught me to pay the bills, pay them first, keep good records, and never be late. If you cannot afford anything after that, do something else. Get another job. Live on less. Ultimately, when you create a debt, you give your word so honor it. [POWERFUL MESSAGE]. He also did not “tithe” when I was young. He justified it verbally…so I carried his understanding into my adult years. He was wrong. He has since changed but his influence, though informal, was weighty at the time. My children tithe. They do so because that is what Jodi and I model for them. We live generously toward others even when we have minimal resources.

Parents that allow other things to take priority over church on Sunday teach similar lessons. They communicate that there are some things that are more important than church assembly. They allow children to choose to play sports that interfere with church. They choose “family days” at the beach over church. The intent is harmless but the results are long-lasting.

How do we NOT communicate wrong messages informally? Choose to do the right thing. What is it we would want our family to do? If it is a biblical truth, we should always do that. If our kids want to do something else, we should correct them. In my house, we don’t make school optional no matter how early in the day it starts or unfulfilling it seems. We don’t allow kids to break the law. We don’t allow our children to act immorally no matter how much they might want to. We don’t let them come to their own conclusions on matters of faith. One day they will. They will choose based on the values they’ve acquired and most of those through INFORMAL or UNINTENTIONAL messages. We choose then to intentionally communicate what we want them to learn through our “unintentional messages.” IOW…we are very intentional in this.

Does it matter? YES! They learn through our messages and God considers our influence a stewardship. This is why He holds us to account for every “careless word” or unintentional message we teach.

Shalom, CA