The life of a Christ-follower is one of community. Individuality is not part of the program. I know that in the West, and particularly in the United States, the value of individualism is romantic. We celebrate the Lone Ranger. We applaud the trailblazer. We resist accountable community.
Such was not the culture of the early church and it is not the tone of the New Testament. In fact, the idea of individuality is often the subject of warnings. There is great value in community.
Somewhere along the way, people got the idea that matters of faith were private matters. While faith is highly personal, it is never private. We may confess sins privately, but we declare God’s forgiveness publicly; and, at times, we confess those sins publicly within the context of community (James 5:16) so that others will pray for us. This provides for us the tool of accountability.
I suggested in a recent article that a small gender-exclusive group of believers, typically a close communion of 4-5 people who are committed to meeting regularly, reading the bible together and praying with one another is a powerful tool for spiritual growth. Those groups work best when they have these characteristics:
- They are joined by invitation. There needs to be some chemistry (or at least potential for chemistry) if the group is to flourish. This is why I suggest that the first place to find people for this group is among existing circles…like a Connect Group. [Connect Groups are how my church organizes small group ministry].
- They have a defined objective. Meeting to “hang out” may feel like an “organic” approach to community; however, it is its own version of stress-inducing. These communities should have an objective. We will meet to ____. I suggest that the reason to meet is to discuss insights from a Bible-reading plan that everyone in the group embraces.
- They have a confidentiality ethic. As the group begins to discuss how the Scriptures “spoke” to them during the previous week, there will come a time when someone will share a personal or even private struggle with a stronghold or sin. This is not an act of WEAKNESS but of COURAGEOUS STRENGTH! I say that because I only do men’s groups (of course) and men are terrible about not wanting to share defects with one another. For honest and helpful sharing to occur, there must be a sense of trust that what is shared will “go to the grave” of those who hear it.
- There must be an exit strategy. How do we get off the bus? In my experience, many of these groups default to an insular nature within a few weeks. As relationships grow and trust is confirmed…a band of brother (or sisters) is established. The easy thing is to stay together forever. This tool for spiritual growth can become stagnant at this point and ultimately loses missional effectiveness. It needs new blood. This is why I suggest only a “one-year” group. In fact, I recommend that the group form with a clear understanding that each member will identify 3-4 others during the year that they can begin meeting with when this group concludes. [Note: A group that concludes does not mean that friendships dissolve; rather, the multiplication of groups provides for increased friendships.]
If you are not part of a D-Group (which is what I call these accountability communities) and would like some specifics on how to start one (or perhaps join one), give me a call. I have some recommended resources that will help you get started successfully.
If this year is to be a year of advancing in your development as a Christ-follower, you will NEED partners in an accountable community. CHOOSE now to take that step and I guarantee that when you look back at the end of the year, you will be blown away at what God does in your life!
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