Sitting in front of his home, he dropped the truth-bomb in the form of a question: “How much golf are you playing these days?” My response, which fit perfectly the nuances of the culture, was simple…” Doc, I’ve got so much going on, I can’t find time to even get to the range.” His response has stuck with me now for more than sixteen years: “Chris, golf is kind of like your quiet time with the Lord…you always have time for what you love.”
Now I am not making a play for more time in the fairways. (Honestly, anyone who has ever played with me knows I have very little experience in the fairways. My game is “Army golf”…. Left, Left, Left, Right, Left). The truth really resonates though…you always have time for what you love most…what is most important.
I remember some time back…a person came to me for spiritual advice. Actually, the previous week’s Sunday message really spoke to the situation, so I asked if the person had been there to hear it. “No, I was doing ____.” By the way, it was a good thing that this person was doing! It seems though that the activity was not the best thing. Honestly, though, that’s the real choice for most of us. It isn’t that we are choosing between helping a little ole lady across the street or robbing a bank. In that case, the choice is clear. More often in life, our choices are between good and best in any given matter.
Let me propose 3 considerations, which are not exhaustive by any measure, that should guide the decision…if we want to experience God’s best in our lives.
First, has God already spoken to the decision? As a pastor, I am admittedly more in-tune with (and biased toward) church attendance than a lot of Christians. Often times I will hear, “My schedule is so busy that the only time to do ____ is on Sunday, so we chose to do _____. Is this a faith issue? Has God already spoken directly to the matter? (See Hebrews 10:23-25 as one example). How do the “one another” passages of Scripture get fulfilled if we are not with one another?
Second, how does this decision directly affect others? Now I know that our default thinking on matters of faith is how does our decision affect us? If I skip church today, will I be less tired, happier, less encouraged, etc? What if, though, we considered our actions from its impact on others. Does my absence help the body? Does my absence free up a needed seat for someone else? Does my absence become a distraction or perhaps keep me out of place, so that I cannot help someone else with a struggle in their lives?
Third, what message does my action communicate to others? When our boys were growing up in the home, we had busy lives like everyone else…but we worked to make sure we were in our place in our assembled church every Sunday. (By the way, this conviction preceded my work in vocational ministry). As such, both of my sons have left the home and for years have faithfully attended and served in their local church bodies. Is that because we took them to church? Not completely, but I think it helped solidify priorities in their minds. Besides, Proverbs 22:6 implies that if we want our children to follow in our/ the Lord’s ways, we must train them up in the way we should go.
I talk with dads often who want to be the spiritual leader in their home. I believe they genuinely want to be the best at it. What I also believe to be true is they ARE the spiritual leader in their home…the only question is where are they leading? If we regularly choose the lake house, or travel ball, or sporting events, or working Sundays, or relaxing by the pool…we lead those who look up to us to believe that there more important things to do than to be connected to the body of Christ. I don’t think that is the intended message…and I am not certain that it is immediately evident that the values are transferred from generation to generation. Eventually, though, it happens. Your son drops church from weekly to monthly to a few times per year at best. He chooses work ahead of other things that you wish he gave higher priority. He passes these new values on to your grandchildren (his children) and you wrestle with why his faith is so shallow. Could it be, as my friend Allan Taylor said to me recently, “Your leadership is perfectly designed to give you the results you’re getting.”
I could go on, but I wonder if the Lord might already have signaled your heart about a change you should consider. If so, know this: God allows (and even encourages) U-turns.
Grace and Peace.
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