“Now before the Feast of the Passover, Jesus knowing that His hour had come that He would depart out of this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end.” John 13:1, NASB.

The times of God’s greatest developmental work in a leader’s life are often in the desert or the dungeon. While a leader can learn on a mountaintop, nearly all proclaim that the most formative experiences are sitting in a desert, under a Juniper tree, wishing to die. (1 Kings 19:4). This week, for me, has been one of great development.

Leaders experience criticism. By definition, leaders attempt to shepherd people toward an outcome that they might not choose on their own. Pastoral leaders (pastors) do the same, only having received their orders from God. Pastors, however, don’t get emails that are time and date stamped and wrestle with the same draws toward ungodly actions as everyone else. We KNOW that often the difficulties we face originate with the devil (yes, I believe in a literal devil/satan/slanderer/accuser); however, it is not always easy to distinguish the force behind a person’s actions from the actions themselves. In one sense, “the devil made me do it” is true; whereas, in another sense, the person always willingly participates in the plan.

This week has been one of pretty intense criticism. The details are not as important (from my perspective and for the purposes of this article) as the lessons I’m learning, so I am intentionally leaving them out. My hope is that a reader might be able to transfer some of the principles of the lessons I’m learning to their own situation, even if the circumstances don’t precisely line up.

After three days of anxiousness in my chest and alternating emotions of fear, anger, and despair, the Lord reminded me of a few things today:

  • Whatever they are accusing you of is far less severe than what I ALREADY KNOW about you. (Be glad they don’t know what I know about you…they would talk.)
  • They accused me of stuff I never did and of righteous stuff I did that they did not like.
  • Be like Me.

Well, I am not Jesus. The more I grow in Christ, the more I realize how far I have yet to go toward zeroing in on my own sanctification. On days I start to think that I am making progress, God simply unmasks another layer of my wicked and deceitful heart. Sometimes He does that in prayer or reading the Scriptures. Sometimes the enemy simply screams in my ear. Sometimes the Holy Spirit opens my eyes in the midst of my sin. At other times, God uses the actions of others. In each case, the enemy has a purpose and God has a purpose. The enemy seeks to destroy, discourage, and defame (John 10:10a). God seeks to give us abundant life through unmitigated dependence on Him (John 10:10b). He seeks to conform us to the image of Christ (Romans 8:28-30).

So, this morning God graciously terrified me with part of that image: Christ on a cross, stripped naked, nail-pierced hands and feet, a crown of thorns, bloody from beatings and dried saliva all over his body…praying to the Father, “forgive them…for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34). I’M A ‘THEM,’ that Christ interceded for. I’m one of those sinners…

So how can a sinner elevate himself to a place of judgment against another sinner? Sure, he can and must discern that sin has occurred and who did it and all of that…but to “judge” in that context is to withhold love toward that person. If a person withheld love he may find a perfect consensus from other sinners that he is righteous but Jesus says that to do so is to testify that you are not a follower of His. “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35).

Wow, pastor…that’s hard!  Yes…it is. Well, surely God must only mean love those who are easy to love or those that are His own…right? If that were true, how could we reconcile that with “God demonstrates His own love toward us, that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us, (Romans 5:8), and “Christ is the propitiation for our sins, and not our only, but also for the whole world (1 John 2:2). [Propitiation speaks of the satisfactory payment for our debt] Furthermore, it is specifically in the case of sinful offense that we are told to love and told that love covers sin. “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8).

Paul indicates that to harbor anger or resentment or to clamor or slander is to grieve the Holy Spirit and that we must resist this and walk in love, just as Christ loved us.

Ephesians 4:29–5:2 (NASB95)

29Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

30Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

31Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

32Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

1Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children;

2and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

Back to the cross. If Christ can face what He faced, and ask God to forgive me for spitting on Him, whipping Him, crucifying Him, mocking Him, and prancing around in my self-righteous head-wagging strut…how can I not love, learn, and leave it at the cross?

So, as painful as criticism is…as hard as the days can become…I choose love, for love covers a multitude of sins.