November 5, 1995.
22 years ago yesterday. One of the significant milestone days in my life. I was working as a Deputy Sheriff on second shift when I was instructed to serve a warrant. I contacted backup, per department procedure, and proceeded to “set up” on the house where the man would be.
He was early.
Backup was delayed.
The situation unfolded rapidly, and I ended up in the fight of my life. There is little more arresting in life than hearing the “Officer Down” tones and knowing that you are the officer in peril. It was a life-changing day.
I learned through the experience how very little control I have in life. I learned that even if you do everything correctly, you still cannot control all the variables. I learned that even if you do everything correctly, someone will still question and critique what you did. I learned that even if you do everything correctly, you are still mortal.
I saw the face of evil. I saw the sacrifice of brothers and sisters in uniform that placed themselves in jeopardy for a fellow officer. I saw the need to take inventory of my life and examine priorities. What was it that I truly valued? How did I want my life story recorded? What did I need for my children and wife to know that only I could help them understand?
The events of that fateful day resulted in a suspect’s death. A parent lost a son. Siblings lost a brother. That day brought lawsuits and mandatory counseling, review boards and state police investigations, all of which cleared me and the other deputies involved of any wrongdoing, but it brought something else…
God used that day to cause a self-assured and self-sufficient young man to ask some important questions about faith. Within months, Jodi and I returned to church (from which I had complacently allowed…or maybe caused…our family to drift). I had a pastor teach me to read the Bible for myself. I had strong men invest in my life to disciple me…some formally and even more informally through their example and gracious truth-speaking into my life. Men like Sam League, Shane Alexander, Terry Wedgewood, George Wyatt, Greg Dixon, Steve Ellis, Johnny Condrey, Jack Givens, Michael Cloer, Don Dunavant, and countless other influences.
The results of that day, looking back on 22 years…is that I have two sons that love and serve God. I have a precious wife whom God uses to equip and encourage women in the faith. I have a ministry of shepherding people, some of whom I have seen God do amazing things in and through. I have an appreciation for life, faith, and God’s sovereign care for rebellious young men that I don’t think would be true apart from the drama of that fateful day. I have a passion for men who “strap up” every day and stand a post between evil and its potential victims.
Today I am grateful for God who gloriously works to recall rebels and restores them to service for His glory.
Grateful.
Grateful.
Don’t despise what you do not fully understand. Put your faith in God who never is caught off-guard and never is found lacking in ability or compassionate concern. The moment you question that…return to the cross and see how far He has gone to rescue you and choose to trust Him.
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